the saddest circle is a square

My last post was inspired by my increasing curiosity in handedness.  Why are people left-handed and does what influences hand dominance also affect much more?  The sinister tale of southpaws' conclusion is obviously facetious (at least I hope it is painfully obvious).  I wanted to offer a variety of facts but also pick fun and journalists' proclivity to draw sweeping conclusions from research.

A fact I reiterated (maybe too much) was the relatively stable prevalence of lefties in the human population at 10%.  I can't help but be passionately curious about any minority.  Whether the minority be of a different ethnicity/sexuality/hand preference or simply fall under the umbrella label of "different", I am both fascinated and empathetic.

The lefties post was my attempt to illuminate the intricate web of pathologies, speculate on their evolutionary benefits and posit that the effects of genetic, epigentic and environmental deviations of the minorities may be enough to affect the majority.  Have and are humans aware of the minority's influence?  Are the minority not only feared because they are different but because on some level we know the power of a passionate few?  

An article in The Atlantic, "In Defense of Those Left-Handed" posted an Australian youtube video.

"No one makes fun of left-handed people. Think again. When I was in school, there was a left-handed boy named Sue, and everyone would make fun of him. Some gal would giggle, and he'd get red, and some guy'd laugh, and Sue would bust his head. The point is, Sue had issues controlling his anger. At the guy's funeral, Sue went up to the podium to speak, and everyone booed him, even though he was just trying to apologize. It wasn't until years later that we found out Sue had been abused by his parents because of a speech impediment. We should've been nicer to him."

The story isn't entirely true but you get the point.  Most of us can think of own analogous "Sue".  I know who my "Sue" is.  I have always taken pride in defending and supporting the outliers and deviants.  However... a guilt ridden memory from High School reminds me I haven't always acted according to my beliefs and morals.  One day at lunch, just outside of my school, some guys were teasing and throwing things at an awkward and introverted 2nd year senior.  To this day, I am still haunted by not what I did, but what I didn't do.

Last Wednesday at my softball game, players on my team didn't play because of a religious holiday that not long ago, I observed myself. Two years ago, I partook in the Jewish tradition of Yom Kippur, the day of atonement.  I needed to forgive and atone for my embarrassing life-long prejudice.  That scrawny, bearded 2nd year senior with unkempt long hair ... had long red hair.

How did I go from repeatedly asking my mom when I could dye my hair red like Ariel to holding unfair personality generalizations for people with the very hair I used to desire?  My first red-head encounter was Anna.  She was loud and uninhibited (and I thought she was evil), which of course was frowned upon by shy and pensive young bailey.  Experiences throughout my early years only worsened things.   Since college, I have met many wonderful red-hair spectrum individuals, thankfully shattering my shameful stereotypes.  Although observing Yom Kippur years ago allowed me to forgive myself, I still have difficulty admitting my prejudicial past.

While my own personal shame comes from what I didn't do, this post was motivated by what people did do.  I had a conversation tonight that made me sad.  This past spring, I met and gave a ride to a  40 something guy who is developmentally delayed.  I found out today that his old co-workers at the Outback weren't so nice.  It was heartbreaking to hear how they teased and taunted, only fueling the frustration of an insecure individual.  His frustrated responses likely supplied more fuel to the fire, more things to poke fun at.  Chris ended up leaving Outback in large part, due to the bullying.

My whole life, people have called me "weird".  Not weird like freak or in a mean way.  Weird in a goofy and eccentric way.  Lord knows, I had plenty for people to make fun of and to this day, I'm not entirely sure why I never was a bully's victim.

A quote I have told often to others and myself is by the wise Dr. Seuss-"be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter, don't mind." Tonight, I told my developmentally delayed friend, that quote.  I hope that he remembers that the next time someone is cruel, that they just don't matter.

Teasing is likely a behavior with more innocent origins in play.  However, teasing a friend or sibling is hardly the same thing as bullying.  Bullying can leave the most beautiful spirits insecure, depressed, angry or bitter.  Kindness or cruelty can mean the difference between a child blossoming or wilting.  

We need different.  

Differences and different thinking promote change in an ever changing world. 

Stagnation destroys us.

Our world's problems are many.  Hopefully one day, bullying won't be one of them.

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do." - Steve Jobs

I just found out that October is National Anti-Bullying Awareness Month.  

I highly doubt any readers of my blog are bullies but just remember... 

it's often the things we didn't do, that haunt us the most.